spiritual disciplines lesson 4 : secrecy and sacrifice

A brother asked Mathois, saying, "If I go to live in a certain place, how wouldst thou have me behave there?" The old man said to him, "If thou dost dwell in a place, seek not to make thyself a name for this or that saying, 'I do not come into the assembly of the brethren,' or 'I do not eat this or that,' for these things make thee an empty name, but thereafter thou shalt suffer annouyance, for when men hear of such, thither they run."
-from"The Desert Fathers," translated by Helen Waddell.

"Secrecy rightly practiced enables us to place our public relations department entirely in the hands of God…"
- Dallas Willard, "The Spirit of the Disciplines"

"One of the monks, called Serapion, sold his book of the Gospels and gave the money to those who were hungry, saying: I have sold the book which told me to sell all that I had and give to the poor."
-from"Wisdom of the Desert: Translations from the 'Verba Seniorum,'" by Thomas Merton.
 

"Daddy, Daddy! Watch this!" I heard the little girl saying it over and over until her dad would turn and look at her.
"That's nice, honey!" he said, and turned his attention back to his conversation. She interrupted again with the same plea while she performed amazing feats such as: "walking-the-imaginary-tightrope," "look-my-hand-is-a-talking-duck," and "spoon-balancing-on-the-head."

In conclusion, the preacher asked the people, "Abraham was willing to sacrifice his son Isaac. What are you willing to sacrifice for God?"
The discouraged mother looked at her teenage son, sleeping in the seat next to her, and unexpectedly said aloud, "I'll sacrifice my son."
The teenager immediately woke up.

Secrecy and Sacrifice. These are two more spiritual practices that are not made easy by our culture. However, they are two spiritual practices that will produce incredible freedom from the chains of emotional, spiritual, and material insecurity.

Secrecy: Finding Security in God and Freedom from the Approval Game.

All the things we do so that people will recognize us, appreciate us, and admire us are like the silly actions of the little girl in the story above. When we do things so that people will notice us, we may get noticed, but we will receive no reward from God (since that was not what we were after).

Jesus said, "Don't do your good deeds publicly so that you will be admired, because then you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven" (Matthew 6:1). The discipline of secrecy cuts to the heart of why we do the things we do. Do we serve others so that we will be admired for our selflessness? Do we give of our time and money so that we will be thought of as generous? Do we pray in public so that we will be respected as "mature Christians?"

Now, it cannot be helped; when we do good deeds, they will most likely be noticed. The question, however, is not with the results. The question is with our motivation. Do we do the things we do in order that we will be admired, respected, applauded? Are we caught up in the approval game?

How do you know if you are caught up in the approval game? Ask yourself these questions:

Do I ever feel disappointed when nobody notices my efforts?
Do I ever get upset when someone else gets the credit for my idea?
Do I ever find myself doing something so someone will think I am smart?
Do I ever sulk when my past achievements are forgotten or ignored?

Do I ever get upset when no one says, "Thank you?"
Of course, this is not an exhaustive list, but it does reveal how deeply we all desire admiration, praise, and respect. We all want people to tell us we are "worthy." We want to know that we have immeasurable value in their opinion.

The little girl who cries out, "Daddy, Daddy! Watch this!" wants to know that she is worthy of her father's love-which is expressed, partly, in attention. So it is with people who do things to get noticed. We want to know that we are loved. Where does this desire come from? It comes from our insecurity about what makes us valuable as people.

What a difference it would make if we accepted the truth that God loves us without respect for our accomplishments, degrees, or physical characteristics! That God loves us simply because we are His "dearly loved children." The discipline of secrecy puts us in a place where we can experience this truth.

In practicing secrecy, we find the security of knowing that our value does not lie in the conditional applause and admiration of people, but in the fact that God's love for us is unconditional.

In practicing secrecy, we may intentionally prevent our deeds from being known. However, it is not necessary. We should not lie or mislead people just to keep our deeds a secret. Even if our deeds are recognized-which they often will be-the point is that we do not do them in order to be recognized. We are not practicing secrecy for the sake of secrecy, but to free us from the approval game-to free us into a life of security in God.

Secrecy frees us to love others freely, not just so they love us back. We love out of the infinite reserve of love we receive from God.

Secrecy frees us from conditional, tit-for-tat relationships. It frees us into a life of generosity and compassion.

Secrecy frees us to serve with true humility. Because we serve before the audience of One, we can, as Thomas à Kempis said, rise above the "praisings and blamings" of others. We accept any recognition with easy grace. A simple thank you, or you're welcome is enough. If we get no such recognition, we did not seek it in the first place, so we are not upset.

Some Practical Applications of Secrecy:
1. Go into your room, close the door behind you and pray.
2. Go to a clothing store and put a $20 bill in the pocket of a pair of jeans while no one is looking (maybe in the dressing room).
3. When you go through a tollbooth, pay for the next ten cars behind you as well.
4. Send an unsigned card expressing love and encouragement to a neighbor.
5. Make up a basket of gift certificates and drop it at someone's door (that's the kind of ding-dong-digit people love!).
 

Sacrifice: Finding Security in God and Freedom from Material Insecurity

We practice sacrifice to give up our self-security and find security in God. Sacrifice is not the same as frugality. Remember that frugality is giving up things which are "extras," luxuries, and other indifferent things, and instead, investing our time, money, and energy in things that have eternal significance.
In the practice of sacrifice, however, we go farther. We "give until it hurts." The practice of sacrifice is giving up the security of meeting our own needs with our own resources. It is, as Dallas Willard puts it, "total abandonment to God, a stepping into the darkened abyss in the faith and hope that God will bear us up."

The practice of sacrifice places us well outside of our comfort zone, and into the desert where we must trust the resources of God. In some cases, this may involve the sacrifice of our financial security (Note: we must meet our normal financial commitments first. Sacrifice does not mean we are to become irresponsible. We should not be delinquent on our debts so we can give to some "good cause."). When all our bills are paid and we find a surplus, we may practice sacrifice and give the money away (however little or much it may be).

Only those who sacrifice experience the amazing depths of God's ability to provide. Only when we are totally abandoned to God do we discover the full wealth of His resources. Again, Willard provides a powerful image: "The cautious faith that never saws off the limb on which it is sitting never learns that unattached limbs may find strange, unaccountable ways of not falling."

Sacrifice is not only concerned with money. Practicing sacrifice may mean giving up the security of a relationship. Jesus said, "Whoever loves his mother or father or brother or sister or anyone more than me is not worthy of me." God called Abraham to give up his son (his only son, the son who he loved), Isaac. Abraham had finally discovered that his only security was to be in God alone, and so he was willing to sacrifice his long awaited hope and dream, Isaac.

Sacrifice may involve giving up your time, sleep, shirt, coat, career-whatever of your own resources that you trust in rather than God.

It is necessary for us to examine the source of our security. The practice of sacrifice helps us to find security somewhere other than our own resources and relationships. And when we sacrifice, we discover the freedom that comes in such a life of abandonment. We find a security that is (pardon the pun) out of this world.

Examine your life. In which areas do you rely solely on your own resources? Would you be willing to risk cutting off that branch so you can discover "strange, unaccountable ways" God can provide? I guarantee you will be surprised at the results